edgy hair style

My mind is like a tossed salad right now...

Its like Iapos;m feeling every emotion all at once.

Lets see, Iapos;m gonna go to myspace right now and list every emotion Iapos;m feeling. LOL.

Here we go.

Accomplished - I Sort of feel accomplished. I have reached my lifetime goals over and over again (Went to Hawaii last week), but am I where I want to be? Not Even Close. But I feel Iapos;ve accomplished a lot.

Adored - I am adored I guess. Sarah loves me a lot. Hopefully someone else does too.

Adventurous - I am always feeling adventurous. Iapos;m always itching for the next adventure. Mexico, Ireland, Scotland in the next 2 weeks. Here I come

Aggravated - Fucking Native Instruments doesnapos;t answer my fucking e-mails and blows me off. Dubfire ignores my e-mails. I have NEVER ignored an e-mail unless it is off the wall stupid and spammy. There is no such thing as being "too busy" to send a quick reply. Especially in the day of blackberries and I phones.

Amorous - Iapos;ve TOTALLY been feeling Amorous lately. There is this girl Iapos;m so in love with. I know its love because I think about her all the time, and care about her. Just the sight of her, even if its just a picture makes my heart melt, and I associate her with all that I think is beautiful.

Amused - Watching Dumber and Dumber in the background. Thats amusing. I have seen some amazing shows lately (Pendulum, Global Gathering, Nocturnal Festival, Booka Shade, Stone Temple Pilots, Pennywise, Filter, and a bunch of other DJapos;s playing clubs around the world). Its been an amusing year.

Angry - Iapos;m angry at my family for getting divorced and pulling the rug out from under me, and sending me off into the world on my own with no notice. Iapos;m angry at my mom for being a selfish bitch with this whole divorce thing, and instead of thinking about her kids who were falling apart and helping them out, she went out and got herself a boob job, new condo and a new car. Iapos;m angry at Sarah for everything she put me through the last year we were together, putting me through nights of Hell where I wanted to kill myself almost every night because I was thinking about her with this guy... And then she ended up being his girlfriend at the end of it all. Iapos;m angry at my roomate who talks shit about me all the time for not cleaning up the house, and hating on my lifestyle. Iapos;m actually suprised thats all Iapos;m angry about. I used to be a VERY angry person but Iapos;ve been a lot better ever since I started raving. Heh.

Annoyed - Iapos;m annoyed with my roomate Josh, who is actually like my best friend but he is going through all kinds of financial trouble right now, and is always eating our food, and using our stuff. Like, dude I love you but I am broke too I am annoyed because he works like 50 hours a week and somehow doesnapos;t have money? How is that? I NEVER work, and I am cought up with my bills and keep myself alive. Why is he trying to live off me?

Anxious - To me there are a few different kinds of anxious. I am anxious about possibly moving to Washington DC and stirring my life up and ONCE AGAIN sweeping the rug from out from under my feet and going out of my comfort zone. I am anxious about whats going to happen with native instruments. I am anxious about my own music career. But the other kind of anxious, which is general anxiety I used to have a HUGE problem with. I used to be all fucked up from it, and took paxil and used to have anxiety attacks. I think it had a lot to do with my mom and her control freakish and manipulative ways, school and fucked up crazy girlfriend who played mindfuck games with me. I read a good book how to cope with anxiety and I think I am pretty much over it. I am proud that I am an anxious person, because that just means I am a heavy thinker and Iapos;m always thinking 10 steps ahead of the game.

Artistic - I am feeling very artistic when it comes to DJing and making mixes and mashups.

Ahsamed - Ashamed of one of my recent gigs. I went into a hell hole in my mind and freaked out. I felt lost in my own music and just couldnapos;t find songs that I wanted to play. The whole last 45 minutes I was watching the clock waiting for the gig to end and went into autopilot mode. Iapos;m sure it was fine to the crowd but I was not into it at all. But rather than letting that ruin my whole trip, I stayed up that whole night of the gig putting together a list of tracks that I SHOULDapos;VE played. It was a learning experience... But embarassing. I feel like I let my fans down.

Awake - Itapos;s 3AM. I know Iapos;ll be up until 5AM.

Blah - Iapos;ve been in my house for 2 months. Yeah, I go on adventures during the weekend but being alone for more than 5 days in my room will make me very blah.

Blank - I felt blank last week. I ate a shitty ass pill that made me want to crawl in a hole and die the next day, and then felt dumb all week. I still feel a little dumb from it.

Blessed - As much as Iapos;m complaining about other shit, I am very blessed to be doing what Iapos;m doing. I am living the dream.

Blissful - this is how I felt when I was rocking Honolulu. I felt amazing, on the top of the world. I also felt this way at the pendulum show when I started a crazy moshpit then stagedived.

Cold - Iapos;m freezing right now. My nose is cold (turns up the heat). I was very cold to sarah the other week. I told her I have a girlfriend and not to call me anymore and get over me. I meant it too. I donapos;t really feel too bad about it after all sheapos;s done to me, but I was definitely cold.

Contemplative - Iapos;m contemplating making the big move to DC, and thinking about if it will be a good move for me.

Cooky / Wacky - I get this way when Iapos;m isolated a lot with my music. I kind of like it though.

Creative - So Many Ideas in my head. Its all about cranking them out and making them come to life. I have an idea for a new energy drink, a new software program, a few ideas for new mixes, and new tracks. I can gladly say all of them are in motion. All in due time =)

Cultured - Iapos;ve definitely learned tons from travelling around the world, and feel more in touch with the human race as a whole. I feel this is going to help me a lot with what I want to do with music.

Determined - Failure is not an option.

Discontent - I am not happy with the way things are right now. Not making enough money with my job. Not living luxurious enough. I just want to be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want.

Disgusted - I canapos;t believe Sarah is fucking Jeremy. I canapos;t ever hook up with her again after that. I heard some nasty shit about that guy.

Excited - Definitely Excited about my upcoming trips to Mexico, Scotland and Ireland

Frustrated - With my production. I hit road blocks so bad and lose focus. I will not give up though. I will pound the cement and break through that cieling. I laid down a good drum track today. Gonna add vocals to it tomorrow, then keep building it from there. I also have an almost finished track that needs to be polished off. But this whole process is so frustrating. I like DJ Mixes because I can FINISH something and be proud of it, and put into music whats in my head. I need to do that with Production.

Gloomy - Weather is changing. Its cold and dark. Makes me feel gloomy. I hate it and like it at the same time.

Grateful - Iapos;m grateful for all of my friends. Its so nice to be in touch with everyone again. Iapos;m also grateful for everything thats been going on with all my travelling lately. Its been an amazing experience.

Hungry - its 4AM. No food in the fridge. Iapos;m starving.

Impatient - I want it all now. Iapos;m 27. Shit needs to blow up ASAP.

Jealous - I guess Iapos;m a little jealous of DJapos;s who DJ for a living and are living good lives off of it.

Lazy - Its easy to be lazy when you donapos;t have shit to do.

Lonely - Iapos;m usually alone by myself all day. I kind of like it but sometimes its weird. I guess I make up for it on the weekends and when Iapos;m with Caitie. But honestly, when Iapos;m with Caitie I feel like Iapos;m wasting my time, and wishing I was alone working on stuff.

Neglected - I feel neglected by my family since they got divorced. Theyapos;re both so selfish lately and only care about taking care of themselves and when Iapos;m in trouble give me no help.

Nervous - Nervous about moving to DC.

Ninja - 4 life.

Okay - General Description of all my feelings all at once. So when I say Iapos;m "OK" I mean I am everything above and below basically.

Quiet - Lately Iapos;ve been kind of quiet when I go out. I just like listening to people sometimes and taking it in. Maybe Iapos;m a little shy sometimes too.

Rebellious - Lately Iapos;ve been feeling a little of my old punk rock blood going through my veins - example - dying my hair blue, purposely getting kicked out of the pendulum show for stage diving. I love breaking the rules. I wish I could go back to being 17 when I didnapos;t have to worry about going to jail. I used to do all kinds of retarded crazy bad things, but it was a blast and a rush.

Rockin - Always, until the day I die.

Rushed - I need to do a lot FAST. I need to blow up. Its my only option. I need tracks finished, hustled. I need merchandise. I need websites done. Fast. Iapos;m 27. No more fucking around. Its time to bust my ass.

Scared - I donapos;t have health insurance, and I have been having some bad stomach symptoms lately. In the back of my head is the dreadful thought that my stomach surgery came undone and I have cancer. I bet the chances of that are like 1 in 1000 but it is still in the back of my head, and I donapos;t have health insurance, nor money for doctors visits and surgery if need be.

Stressed - $$$ - Sux when you donapos;t have it.

Tested - Life is a test.

Thirsty - Its 4:20 AM. I wish I had a beer... Or something else to compliment what time it is.

Thoughtful - Iapos;m always thinking my friends and about the people I love. If I could give my friends everything I would.

add birth control link new, edgy hair style.